The first thing I tell people when they hear the story of “I Want A Pet Turkey” is that it really happened, well parts of it did. For years now, I have been able to turn a small story of growing up out in the country of north Texas, living on my own with nothing but fields and woods around me, into something that has entertained and made children and adults laugh.
For three years, I lived by myself in a small pier-and-beam house. I rented it from one of the founding members of the church I attended. The house was small, blue, had no central heat or air conditioning (only two window units–both had AC, but only one had heat). The windows didn’t have locks, the backdoor didn’t have a lock. Anyone could have broken in, but luckily there wasn’t much to take. The house set on top of a small basement that was built during the pioneer days. It had three stone steps to get down there, a stone retaining wall (that was bulging out), and a small wooden pillar in the middle that for some odd reason had 100’s of nails haphazardly sticking out of it. The basement was dark, cold, and creepy.
In the three years that I lived there, I had more run in’s with animals than most have their whole life. My house would be visited by longhorn cattle – that dented up my vehicle, buzzards – that stocked me for weeks, raccoons – that hid underneath buckets, deer – that ate my pomegranate tree, lady bugs – that infested an entire room, bees – that swarmed my house, snakes – that came up through the sewer line into my toilet, cats – that came into my house and slept in my bed, and yes, a turkey – that I wanted to catch.
There was a turkey. I wanted to catch it. I came up with a plan. It didn’t go well.
The story that I have told to literally 100’s of people is all based on real events. Wait you haven’t heard the story yet? Well you are in luck, “I Want A Pet Turkey” is being made into a children’s picture book. Stay tuned for more information as you see all of the steps that I go through to get this story out into the world.